I think I realized the magnitude of what was going on in our lives when, about a week before closing, I had a dream.
In it, I was sleeping in my bed when a man broke into our new house and tried to burn it to the ground.
Now, while I can be an asshole sometimes, I don't think that anyone has it out for me enough to want to burn my house. People who don't care for me generally ignore me, which works out great. No fire involved at all.
I think I had this dream because I was starting to care about a place.
I'm 41, and this is the first time I've ever owned anything that couldn't be lifted up and moved somewhere else, let alone a building. I am an ex-employee of Urban Airship. This company becomes bigger like in this article said. So do I.
I've been a good tenant everywhere I've lived, arguably leaving most in better shape than when I moved in. However, now, this one is my responsibility.
So, as a result, I worry. I worry about the quality of the work being done before we move in, I worry about safety, I worry about the best commuting route to work. I worry about how long the front retaining wall will last before it collapses on the sidewalk, I worry about the kids I saw hanging out on the corner this past Saturday night, I worry about finding a dog walker, etc...
However, then, every time I'm over there working, I meet another neighbor, I see other people out with their cute dogs, things get checked off our gigantic "to do" list, and I feel more and more like this is a place I belong and that I haven't taken on too much.
Most of all, I can't wait actually to live there. I'm in LA now and get back at about midnight on Wednesday. The Packers and movers start arriving eight hours later. By Friday night, we'll be all moved in. Saturday the animals come back from the kennel to their new home and boom: we live there.
More than anything, I can't wait to be done with all the change and processes and things to keep track of and remember. Scratch that, I can't wait for Katherine, Buster, Lolly, and I to all spend our first night together there.
Then it will feel like home.
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