Braveheart scaring the tourists
Originally uploaded by Leo Reynolds
This whole hot mess broke while I was on the road. I wasn't reading much, wasn't watching much TV. I read some headlines about them, but that was about all I knew. Despite my lack of exposure to Mel's recorded rants, my heart continued to beat. The sun came up the next morning, etc.
Sometimes I like to pretend I turn up my nose at celebrity gossip...but who am I kidding, really. I was just as interested as everyone else.
The disadvantage of trying to listen to the recordings this morning was that 2/3rds of the planet was also trying to listen to those tapes. As a result, they tend to play for a few seconds, then silently buffer for a minute or two, then play a few more seconds.
Given the language, I thought it would be best to listen on headphones. As a result, I sat in silence, headphones on, hearing nothing except my own breathing. Then, the buffered sound would jump out of nowhere.
"FUCK YOU. YOU INSULT ME WITH EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE," screamed Mel.
Then the audio would go silent and start buffering again.
A few minutes later...
"YOU SHOULD JUST SMILE AND BLOW ME," would come shrieking out of the complete quiet.
This went on for the next half hour. A few minutes of silence, then...
"YOU HAVE NO FUCKING SOUL...AND MY SOUL IS SCREAMING!!!"
One time, the audio buffered and played just four seconds of Mel panting into the phone, then went silent again for a few minutes.
I kept checking to make sure these seemingly random blasts of tirade weren't also coming out of my computer speakers.
All said, this was actually a fun way to listen to the tapes.
