Sometime after moving into our neighborhood, I began noticing this guy riding a moped around all day long. He was kind of hard to miss, if for no other reason than his riding style. He doesn't stop moving for any reason.
I've never seen him come close to hitting a car or a person--not even remotely come close. But he's like a shark or something. You know how sharks supposedly die if they stop swimming? Well, the moped guy seems to have a similar aversion to stopping his moped. While I do recall seeing him stationary once or twice (chatting with people he knows in the neighborhood), all the rest of the time he darts through intersections, zips up alleys, and down streets--at 6:15 am, 11 at night--all the time.
After I got used to him zipping by, I noticed two other unusual things about him. First, he never wears a helmet. Given his desire to avoid basic traffic laws, you'd think he'd be more concerned about covering his head with something other than a bandanna. He is not.
The second thing is that he has no legs, from at least the knee down. I know this because he always wears shorts. He does have thin metal poles with blade-like feet on the ends. I have no idea if they are functional or if he can walk, as I have never seen him off his moped.
The "no legs" thing just adds to the weirdness of seeing him tear ass around the neighborhood all day. I mean, I can't help but wonder if his lack of legs is somehow related to his driving habits. He is a two-cylindered enigma.
This past week I'd realized that he hasn't been around for awhile. In fact, I can't remember seeing him since probably mid-October. It's strange--something that you are so used to seeing every day, sometimes multiple times a day, yet when it's gone it takes you weeks to realize.
Anyhow, his sudden and complete disappearance has made him even more of an intriguing mystery to me. Where did he go? Did he stop riding for the winter? That makes no sense. I remember seeing him out there in a rain with a blue poncho, puttering around Petworth. I can't believe he doesn't have the grit to handle some colder weather.
Maybe his moped broke and he needs someone to start up a fund to repair it? Maybe high fuel prices finally got to him? Maybe he was in a terrible accident (or another terrible accident) and now has no arms either.
Maybe he goes south for the winter, like a migratory bird, and spends his winters driving around Sarasota or something.
Having our own no-legged moped speed demon made the neighborhood feel a bit more special. I miss him.
